Turning a new leaf

I've turned a new leaf on my life like the wind rustling in an autumn park, I'm at war with my own demons tussling in the dark, I've made more mistakes than I'd like to admit, but from here on out, it's to this life that I'll commit, with my feet bleeding as I stumble toward the summit, still every time I hear her name or see her face my stomach just plummets, I fell in love once and I learned from that, my heart burned from that, but I'm turning a new leaf as the sun rises in the east, do I have to wait for my demise to finally feel peace? I once suffered from severe depression, shed tears over the course of six years and counted my blessings, went to electroconvulsive therapy sessions where doctors attached wires to my head, and the doctor asked me what I'd like to dream about before he morphined me out, I felt like screaming out, I just want to be happy for once, and not have to deal with you fucking cunts, the pain lasted for 36 fucking months, it was like I was being spiritually ripped apart, now that I've reassembled my soul, all I can do is spit it from the heart, I can't even count how many times I've been slapped across the face and called a disgrace by my own mother, I still love her, I just didn't know the pain I was putting her through, I hope the times that I've made her proud are more than just a few, and the fistfights I got into with my father, I had to get off of his chest because he said he was going to have a heart attack if I didn't, I'm not kidding, I'm thankful that my relationship with him is back to the way it was when I was a kid, when he used to hold me and do silly things like put a cardboard box on top of his head, I love you Dad, I remember the letter my older brother wrote saying he hated my fucked up posture, I felt like he was a monster for saying how he wanted to smash my face into my computer screen, but he was just frustrated as I would be too if someone I loved was always down in the dumps, I used to wonder if I corrupted my little brother, when I would sleep all day and he asked my mom if I was bipolar and she cried, now that I have these rhymes and something to put my energy in, each time is a fresh start when I let the flow begin

I'm in every random atom fathomable, the metaphysicist, from Saturn I pattern my lantern, the lyricist, exposing the difference between shallow bliss and painful awareness, disrobing Truth and reveling in her naked bareness, life lacks fairness and can be darker than His Airness, there are many miles in this race like an ethnic combination, call it a marathon or call it an abomination, I bring the paragon of predicate fusion from Indonesia, Original Syllable come wack? Forget it like amnesia, from high upon to Saigon, high on verbal illustration, herbal incineration brings me to a greater state of elevated meditation, I connect my points geometrically, with a noose for the obtuse, I write angles, or an equilateral, hurt a fellow man and the damage is collateral, or an isosceles, timeless, never obsolete, dying for wisdom, word to Socrates, melody fathered me, my rhymes contain powerful properties, with rhythm and ominous honesty, maggots connive and germs squirm in the earth and the dirt awaiting my arrival, until then it's all about time and rhymes for survival

You're facing the core

My name is like heroin, they take it in vain, and my rhymes deserve straight jackets, I make them insane,
 I paint a perfect picture,

nothing is breaking the frame, 
with the marvelous hand of a mad artist, dropping his touch on ancient grains, sand that used to be 

rocks carving the shore, suffering for the perfect word like starvation and war, 
I penetrate below the earth's surface,

you're facing the core

It's Just Getting Educated

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It's Just Getting Educated

Hip Hop isn't dead, it's just getting educated, by yours truly I demonstrate it fully and let it be stated, 

class is in session it's time to master the lesson with a blessed message to go back to its essence, 

in this life you will be tested and hated, messed with and underrated, still you must keep creating even if it sounds dated and overstated, reinforce the course with more force than a bucking horse until your voice gets hoarse, 

wielding swords and surgically slitting the throats of these overlords, who claim Hip Hop is about spitting social venom, money and weed, honeys and greed, 

when it's really about nothing but living and giving, uplifting the spirit and shifting the paradigm to give listeners a clearer mind, a beautiful sound found to be true to you and what you aspire to, 

it's not about your haters or the people who admire you, it's about the lives you touch and not the cash you clutch, 

I listen to the radio and these bastards suck, 

doing anything for a faster buck, but I stay patiently waiting by the gateway to true Hip Hop, 

inviting you to a party that never stops...

Ever since I came out covered in mucus and blood, I've been searching for the truth and for love, 

and ever since the forgotten doctor chopped my umbilical cord, they haven't gotten to stop the lyrical lord, 

spirits will soar, 

feel it and roar, 

a lion with a mane and a blessed brain, causing heads to bob next to God in exchange for neck pain,

 catch up to me, I'm up ahead in the next lane

Sealed and enveloped in flow, I developed it slow, let it settle and grow and gave it a hot metal glow, far from mellow when I show that I'm sharper than stilettos in snow, the kettle is ready to blow, sicker than the smelliest toe every rebellious level I go, creating combos and stating bomb prose like a pro, case closed like a door, with acumen, a human lyrically illumined, 

I'm conducive to beautiful fusions

The stars above remind me of the scars of love, and inner peace begins to cease when you realize you can't cage the dove, what will your legacy be when your days are done? Tranquility is an ability that overcomes rage before rage has won, while I flip through the pages of my own heart, hoping my words could melt a stone heart in need of a fresh start, begin anew, all I want for you is for the light to come into view